Ever heard of "Socrates Triple Filter Test"?

Dear Friend / Colleague,

Just a nice post on why one should not indulge in Gossip. May come as a bit preechy but if you have not heard about Socrates Triple Filter Test, might want to give a read and give it a thought. I did :-).

thanks
Jagan

Harvey Mackay's Column This Week Spread the word: don't gossip
One day in ancient Greece an acquaintance met the great philosopher Socrates and said,
"Socrates, do you know what I just heard about your friend?"
"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
"Triple Filter?"
"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"
There would be no or little gossip if everyone followed Socrates' Triple Filter Test. But that is not the case. Gossip runs rampant.
It's no wonder legendary American humorist Erma Bombeck said: "Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip."
Someone has calculated that, if a rumor was started at midday, and was repeated within two seconds by everyone who heard it to two other people, who repeated it and kept the cycle going, by about 6:30 p.m. the same day everyone on earth would have heard it.
Of course, the Internet has brought gossiping up to warp speed. A rumor posted online can make it around the world in milliseconds. And although the post may seem anonymous and, therefore, "safe," the damage is potentially irreparable. Snopes, the urban legends reference site, can't debunk everything, after all.
Office gossip in particular is a major concern for a number of reasons. The Triple Filter Test could prevent plenty of misunderstandings and hard feelings in the workplace, where teamwork and cooperation are often central to productivity. How does someone work with another who insists on passing along information that may not be true, good or useful?
Spreading rumors about co-workers can create a hostile environment that customers will pick up on. This is a good reason for avoiding gossip. Plus the fact that I've seen many deals go down, due to gossip.
As advice columnist Dear Abby said, "It is almost impossible to throw dirt on someone without getting a little on yourself."
So clean up your act! The Triple Filter Test is simple to use. Truth alone is not enough reason to spread gossip. Who doesn't have an embarrassing truth that they want to remain private? And while good news may seem harmless enough, is it your news to share? But perhaps the most compelling reason to avoid gossip is the usefulness test. How will the information be used? I'm betting it won't be for positive reasons.
Maybe you've heard about the three ministers who went fishing. They were good friends, each of whom was a pastor at different churches in the same town. While they were fishing they began confessing their sins to each other.
The first pastor said, "Do you know what my big sin is? My big sin is drinking. I know it's wrong, but every Friday night I drive to a city where no one will recognize me, and I go to a saloon and get drunk. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. It's my big sin."
The second pastor said, "Well, to be honest with you, I've got a big sin too. My big sin is gambling. As a matter of fact, you know all the money I raised for that mission trip to India? I took it to Las Vegas instead and lost it all. I'm so ashamed. My big sin is gambling."
Finally it was the third pastor's turn. He said, "Guys, I probably should have gone first, because my big sin is gossiping."
Mackay's Moral: A word can be more powerful than a sword.

Miss a column? The last three weeks of Harvey's columns are always archived online. More information and learning tools can be found online at harveymackay.com.

Laughter - is n’t it indeed beautiful?

Dear Friend / Colleague,
These days i am on an accumulation mode - for taking a view on lighter side of life. One such takes is enclosed below :
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Two venerable academicians returning from Nagpur Science congress were travelling in the same coupe. The one on the upper birth snored like a lion in distress and the other spent the night turning on his berth cursing.
When morning came the snorer got down, yawned and asked him companion, “Professor did you have a sound sleep”?
“Well” retored the victim bitterly, I had the sound and you had the sleep.
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As my wife these days has been complaining with lot more “sound” about my “sleep” or rather my snoring, this joke made an instant connection with me :-).
As a practice i normally cite all my references and this extract came from “Academic Jokes” by S M Mathur. http://www.flipkart.com/academic-jokes-s-m-mathur/8122309283-ku23f54rnb
thanks
Jagan a.k.a J2M

Humour in (and as) medicine by Dr K P Misra

Dear Friend/Colleage,

Somehow stumbled upon this little joke book and sure there are few rib tickling while thought provoking takes in this book. Already tweating a couple of jokes on this - but doing a plain mail as well, in the beginning of the week. Hope it brightens your week ahead .. have a great week :-)

1. What is the epitaph on a Dentist's grave?
"This is the last cavity he filled"

2. Dr Misra being a senior consultant and cardiologist gives many lectures on hypertension and obesity etc and he frequent take in his lectures is
"Lifeline is inversely proportional to the WaistLine" :-).
The expression in Hindi is even better. "Jitni badi kamar hai - utni kam umar hai"

3. Expectedly Dr Misra talks a lot of benefits of regular exercise and in particular walking regularly as its beneficial effect in reducing blood pressure and reducing heart attack.

Then he adds that now-a-days nobody is walking regularly except for Opposition members in the parliament or respective assemblies. On the same thread one of his friends, once countered him - who said the art of walking is lost. How else i go from my house to the car garage? :)

It is just a Rs 60 book available from Flipkart : http://www.flipkart.com/humour-k-p-misra-medicine/8171670857-xv23f9zi39

thanks
Jagan a.k.a J2M

Making Employees Better by Helping Them Get Worse

Dear Friend / Colleague,
Yes, you have read the title right. Don't freak out just as yet :). And don't think this is merely a title, that is using an unexpected caption just to get your attention, although this is also true to some extent. This ChangeThis manifesto - which is a fair peek into new book by a David Rendall, that you might want to check out, if you think you want want to explore newer ways of working with your employees/directs in order to derive the best from them. The key point is ofcourse, we need to leverage people's strengths rather than harp on weaknesses, is ofcourse well understood. But this message is delivered rather effectively (in my view) in a refreshingly new light. The concept of re-framing as talked in the book is really an interesting way to look at the overall big picture.
Thank you
Jagan a.k.a J2M
The Freak Factory: Making Employees Better by Helping Them Get Worse - by David Rendall
"If conventional approaches aren’t working, then what should we do? Instead of attacking people’s weaknesses, we need to find the strength that is hidden inside their apparently negative characteristics. It is time to stop trying to create well-rounded and balanced employees. We need employees that are unbalanced.
We need employees that are freaks. It is time to build a freak factory."
http://changethis.com/64.04.FreakFactory
http://changethis.com/pdf/64.04.FreakFactory.pdf

Coping with grief and loss ..

Dear you,
There was a death in my family last week :( . My mousaji(i.e. my mother’s only sister’s husband) died on the evening of 3rd Nov’09. He was 62 and was quite healthy but unfortunately died due to a case of undetected jaundice and due his own insistence that he is all well despite some warning signs.
After personally experiencing the sense of grief my aunt and her only son(aged 26) going thru, while i tried my best to comfort them, i was quite disturbed by the whole episode. I was in native place for around 3 days over last week doing the best i could - while musing over the topic of “Death - which is ofcourse inevitable for anyone”. But my thoughts are more focussed on “How one should cope with grief and a sense of loss“.
Death of someone near and dear is nothing but a massive change that falls upon an individual - so i was quite clear that it is a special case for Change Management although i was clear that there is definitely more to it. I was looking up for references on Coping with grief and sense of loss. Mostly such emotions occur only during loss of loves ones - while it is also possible incase other painful situations like divorce or even say a job loss - but may be with less intensity. While understandably it is change management at a generic level - grief will go through it’s own unique stages.
Some people always do better than others in terms of dealing with grief, here are the various stages talked about and i could find so much parallel - with each of the stages in terms of what i witnessed in close quarters. While the stages are represented to be somewhat sequential in nature - how much time a mourner spends in a phase can considerably vary from one another. Also a particular phase that is already past can easily resurface upon a trigger.
Reference is below - but after having read thru phases and finding much parallel in terms of what i had witnessed in close quarters - i am choosing the restate the content phases in my own words. Part of the reason is that this link is blocked by proxy as well and as i am writing this note i am unable to refer to the link myself and hence the need to restate the content based on my recollection.
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm
1. Numbness and shock - This is what usually describes the initial reaction when the news is first broken to close relative - particularly when the death is least expected out of the loved one.
2. Denial and disbelief - After the initial reaction, the most usual reaction is deny that the event has not happened as it is quite easy thing to do - than face the reality and the consequences.
3. Pain and anguish - While first few phases may last only few minutes once the event registers well into the mind, one has to deal with inevitable pain associated with the loss. Usually it is in this phase all the wailing and brow-beating takes place and it can be quite painful for a close observer as it was for me.
4. Anger - In this phase we find outbursts from the grieving person onto anyone who can be blamed or held accountable for the loss of the dear one. It is in this phase they vent out their frustration and this phase can be difficult to bear for people in close quarters. This phase is particularly difficult one - as inevitable some of the the near and dear ones will be subjected to lot of outbursts as it was the case in my family. My old grand parents who are still alive have unfortunately got some flak from my mousi and it is a very difficult phase.
5. Bargaining - This is the phase where the mourner starts getting into a What if kind of analysis and the associated thoughts. If only i get a second chance - how would i approach the situation is the most common refrain. The plea is mostly with the God - to be given a second chance where some kind of avoidance measure could have been adopted. While an observer knows that there is absolutely no use with this kind of what if analysis - which goes again and again - apparently it is an important grief coping mechanism nevertheless.
6. Depression and guilt - During this phase, the mourner is consumed by guilt for not having acted such and such way because there is realization that the inevitable has already happened. All things that could have been done by either the mourner herself or some other person is agonizingly thought and over analyzed during this time.
7. Acceptance - By the very term this phase means the mourner is ready to accept the loss of the loved one and ready to move with what needs to be done. Reaching this phase can be agonizing long - ofcourse there is never a gaurantee that a relapse into an earlier phase does not happen, because for that all it needs is a small trigger and there are always enough triggers ready to go off all around you.
8. Hope - By this phase we are indicating that the mourner is now future focussed and hopeful having dealt with most of the grief and sense of loss. How much one would wish that mourner really fast forwards to get into this phase? Is n’t it ?

Note: Well - i am not quite sure, why i wanted to write this particular note. May be it is my way of dealing with the grief and also leaving a something as a reference - for anyone needing to do their own coping bit. Not that i would wish it for anyone even in my dreams - but simply because such experiences can not be simply ‘wished away’
thanks
-J2M (Journey to Mastery) - Hopefully it is not a Mystery

What's in your message - Information (OR) Persuasion?

(OR)




Dear you,
What do you make out of most of the communication that you do? Would it categorize as Informative (or) Persuasive? Does your e-mails tend to go mostly with FYI (For your information) tag (or) with FYA (For your action) tag? Even when it is the latter, how much emphasis do you put in selling the action that you want the other person to take? Is n't real that most of communication tends to be informational kind. Ofcourse, we do tend to mark certain messages with FYA tag which in other words calling for the other person attention and action.
But even when calling for other person's action, are we persuasive enough? Is n't a point to ponder?

To inform (or) to persuade is key a consideration. There is a good changethis manifesto which covers this issue at good length. http://changethis.com/39.03.InformPersuade
This is actually preview of the book titled "Move the World" by Dean Brenner. As you would notice in the article, Dean argues rather forcefully that all communications that we need to make ought to be of "Persuasion" kind and none should be of merely of information kind. It is almost similar along the lines of an expression becoming common place which goes as "All Speaking outside our homes is Public Speaking".

Another key point made by Dean is that Communication is a tool for great leverage. The title of the book is aptly titled because as per author, the power of communication is immense that it could literally move people and the world, if utilized well. Archimedes is supposed to have famously said that "Give me large enough lever and a place to stand and i will move the earth(world)" which in essense conveys the power of leverage. Another great Greek personality Socrates is supposed to have said something entirely different. "If you want to move the world, first you should move yourself". So, which view would you subscribe to?

A key element of the "Move the World" book is the helpful mnemonic with which the method of communication is defined. It is called GAP method where

G - stands for the Goal, that you(the communicator) is seeking to achieve and how clear the communicator is about the overall objective to be achieved with help of communication.

A - stands for Audience awareness, basically customizing the message for audience

P - stands for your Plan for persuasion in your communication (as opposed to mere information)

Does this want you to rethink the way you are approaching your key communications? Feel free to post your comments or write back?

-J2M (Journey to Mastery - Hopefully it is not a Mystery :-) )

Be a fan of "Skill", not just a "Knowledge" fan !!!

Dear you,

Don't we tend to over-emphasize Knowledge but not enough on the Skills. I often see not enough clarity between the two in the minds of people. Until very recently i hav been guilty of mixing the two myself. Well, I would NOT say that i got it all figured out but i would call this musing yet another small step in the never ending J2M :-).

Knowledge is a necessary but not a sufficient condition. It is very apparent with its' focus on "Know"ing .. it is right there in the word, is n't it? . However, skill emphasizes the "do" in other words action part of the equation. Now, just to get ourselves a little energized on the "Skills" aspect i have gotten aroud writng this musing, can't really call it a poetry :-( ..

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Can we become fans of acquiring the necessary "Skill"

However it would require definite "Will"
Might involve taking a bitter "Pill"
Surely there is considerable "Drill"
So that eventually for us, the task becomes run-of-the-"Mill"

Now, are we willing to "kill" all our "ill"s in getting there?
Not pursuing this might result in a hefty "Bill"
Well, we may never get our complete "Fill"
However, should it stop from figuring out our "Gill"s?

Now do i hear you(the reader) saying "Chill" :-)
I hope i have not gone over the "hill"
Because the task at hand is not really that "uphill"
And a real skill fan will tell us about the "thrill"

With this i rest my "appeal".

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Note : I acknowledge Sudip Majumdar(LBS colleague) for providing the initial fodder on this thread. First few lines are entirely his from a training program few months ago, i have just extended the idea fuerther.

thanks
-J2M (Journey to Mastery - Hopefully it is not a Mystery :-)